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All reviews - Movies (2)

F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k!

Posted : 10 years, 1 month ago on 9 March 2014 04:05 (A review of The Last Airbender)

To make myself perfectly clear, i only saw one episode before seeing this movie. And when I finally saw it when it was on the Sci-Fi Channel, I was fucking peeved.

The story itself is not well written. It feet the actors were just making shit up as they go along with the movie. I know films that usually have at least a PG rating are at least 90 minutes long, However, the movie is horribly paced. Many of the scenes are nothing more than exposition. And that's problem. I know writing for a movie from a TV show is difference. In a TV episode, characters sometimes go into exhibition to mention something from a previous episode that a few audience might have missed. But a movie doesn't need to tells us what has happened five minutes ago. Plus, they tells us what has happened off screen that something important might have happened instead of tell us. Cinema is a visual medium, damnit. Show, don't tell.

Also the characters are fucking boring as Hell. It seems the actors never gave a shit what's going on around them. Ad this is a problem. If the characters don't give a shit in what they're doing, why should we, the audience, give a shit at all? Also, the direction of the kids' performances are horribly wooden. I never seen this kind of acting since Jake Lloydd from Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. Give Lloyd some credit though. At least he actually showed more emotion than any of these actors

Also, the vusuals aren't impressive. The first visual effect is a orb of water. Now, like many people who saw this; I also wondered the hell did that orb lost so much water coming out, yet kept it's same size.

The characters are boring as Hell, the actors, especially the child actors, are horrible, the writing is nothing more but exhibitions, the direction is horrendous, the visuals are mediocre at best, the pacing is rush, to which, we the audience, won't get any likability from the characters.

And yes, I am well aware about the controversial casting before the movie came out. To my understanding, Dev Patel was the first be cast to play Zuko. Because of this, he would cast Fire Nation soldier with the same dark brown skin color and would the same as the other three nations.

I wouldn't mind this, except Iroh, Zuko's uncle doesn't have the same skin color as them. Also, in both the Southern Water Tribe and Northern Water Tribe, they are at least four speaking character are in fact white. WHAT...THE...FUCK?! Also, they're upbringing is supposed to be an Eskimo lifestyle with a darker skin tone, not pale.

Because of this, I believe Shyamaladingdong is in self-denial on what makes Avatar: TLA a great show or how we, the audience, would think of him, insulting our intelligence on what makes a great movie.

Because of this I question this, as well as other choices Shyamalan made, in this 90 minute waste of time in which officially I consider the worst movie I ever seen.

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Jack and Jill review

Posted : 10 years, 4 months ago on 27 November 2013 06:27 (A review of Jack and Jill)

When I about to dive in this movie, I knew that this was going to be a horrible movie; Adam Sandler plays twins who get on each others nerves. Now this might sound like a movie that CAN get laughs, if Sandler WAS NOT IN DRAGS!!! Seriously, being in drags doesn't mean it will be comical in any way. The script is all over the place, the jokes are horrible and the characters aren't likable. We see both the siblings' stories, but it still makes them unlikable. This is by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

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